I begin to wonder why I keep hope that one day, for some magical and unexplained reason, it'll stop.
Then I get more philosophical about it. Right now, and for most of my "adult" life, I've been served daily doses of crap. I'm used to it, even though accumulation can sometimes get the best of me, I think I managed to remain quite mentally stable.
Don't get me wrong, I've never been molested nor did my parents beat me. Still, when events just keeping getting more negative, after a while, you start to feel like life itself really hates you.
Then I ask myself: would you be capable of discerning something truly positive in your life? Even if it was slapping you in the face?
To my regret, I don't think I would. I'd need to progressively "re-learn" to identify them and accept them. So far, I don't think I've had the chance to test it first hand.
My biggest fear is that, maybe, something nice, simple and positive just went by me, but that I might've been too busy cleaning the crap off my boots to realize it did...
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