Another day...

So, another day, another pile of shit left at my doorstep.

I begin to wonder why I keep hope that one day, for some magical and unexplained reason, it'll stop.

Then I get more philosophical about it. Right now, and for most of my "adult" life, I've been served daily doses of crap. I'm used to it, even though accumulation can sometimes get the best of me, I think I managed to remain quite mentally stable.

Don't get me wrong, I've never been molested nor did my parents beat me. Still, when events just keeping getting more negative, after a while, you start to feel like life itself really hates you.

Then I ask myself: would you be capable of discerning something truly positive in your life? Even if it was slapping you in the face?

To my regret, I don't think I would. I'd need to progressively "re-learn" to identify them and accept them. So far, I don't think I've had the chance to test it first hand.

My biggest fear is that, maybe, something nice, simple and positive just went by me, but that I might've been too busy cleaning the crap off my boots to realize it did...

Special announcement

I haven't posted in a long while. I was busy trying to act as if my life was fun, filled with people who care about me and others and the likes. Unfortunately for me, yet again, this was all just a lie.

I've realized that I'm surrounded by the exact type of people I've always hated the most: egocentrics.

As far as I can remember, I've always tried to stay as FAR AWAY as I can from these self-centered personages and did everything I could to try and "enlighten" the ones that were already within my life circle.

All these attempts have failed miserably.

One key fact about the people that go through life without caring for anyone else but themselves is that they invariably look HAPPIER than your average balanced person. This is also something I've realized a long time ago.

Trying to remain a "good" human being or by simple romanticism, I've never even considered this little simple fact: If you want to be happy and care-free, act like them!

Well, my friends, I've grown tired of being fucking miserable all the time, not allowing myself the simplest of pleasures nor the luxury of having a clean conscience. This is a pre-apology to all the people I might step on and/or hurt in the future, while I still care a bit.

From now on, I will NOT consider the effects of my choices on others around me; I will live the way I see fit, make the choices I want, regardless of the consequences.

I, my friends, decided to become a self-centered, egocentric PRICK.

My happiness, from now on, will only depend on me. I will fuck and fight my way through life just like all the other assholes out there. I will not look back. I will not doubt myself. I will, from now on, prevail. The Pat you knew was miserable, unhappy, gray and generally unpleasant. The new Pat is the exact opposite, except for the unpleasant part... Oh, if you knew how unpleasant he is, how rude and unrespectful, how much he doesn't give a flying fuck anymore, you'd keep as far away from him as you could.

Consider this the warning disclaimer that should be attached to my person at all times.

Moody P. Trshd