Being an asshole

Well, yes, I think I can state with confidence that I have now achieved my goal. I am now officially an asshole!

I just woke up after a 28 hour sleeping spree (which I believe might have been fueled by something slipped in my drink).

Ok, that doesn't make me an asshole, but for reasons that I will not divulge here, I feel like one. I feel, therefore I am...